4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize