I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I could make wine with my vomit
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i've created a new STD.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
