no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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