you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
