I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
