do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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