He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
