i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
