ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
