He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
