Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize