Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
