Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
