Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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