so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
