I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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