are you so shy because you have an std?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
the liver wants what the liver wants
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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