We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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