woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
