the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
