Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
