I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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