I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
