Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
