Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
