I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
