i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
