Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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