your room smells of hookers.
And success
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
