update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
