It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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