If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
