Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
How external is "for external use only"?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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