but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
