problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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