I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
