'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
