Sponge bath it is.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize