When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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