Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
