also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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