So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize