Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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