So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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