Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
