blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
