I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize