just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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