redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
