Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize