508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
