Can i not drive my cunt home
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
