I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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