You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
