...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize