I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize