i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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