Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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