I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
