Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
