Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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