this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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