Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
