We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
