Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
