..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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