I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
