Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
