I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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