I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize