nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Randomize
