The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
