hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
