I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
