Dual....:-)
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
