The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
