i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
