I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
