Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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