Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
