is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize