i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
