I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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